Fear is a funny thing. Not literally. I hate the feelings of fear. But, it’s only after I’ve moved through a particular fear that I am able to look back on it, and realize that what looked like a snarling, drooling lion from the front – with hot roaring breath – was really not that at all. I look back at it after I’ve stepped through it, and am nearly able to swipe it down like a cob web.
The “funny” part of fear, is that all its power lies in keeping me at a distance. As long as I don’t get too close to it, it wheezes and huffs and puffs, and threatens to blow me down. I get closer, and it gets fiercer. But, if I actually step into it, something strange happens. I see it for what it really is. Most often, it’s just inflated and paper-thin.
I’ve lived with some fears for most of my life. Obviously, some fears are healthy, and should be respected. I have a healthy respect for gravity, fire, and velocity, for instance. But, the “funny” fears I’m thinking about as I write, are the ones that lurk in the shadow of my mind, not completely exposing themseles to the light of reason or examination. They usually stay just far enough out of sight and out of reach to remain a bit of a mystery. But, these are the fears that also have blocked me in for so long.
Recently, I went through a little “excercise.” I’m pretty sure God was the one behind it. He has a way of piercing my armour with a multi-faceted attack that gets my attention fairly quickly. I get shot with ”arrows” from multiple, and seeimginly unrelated sources…and they all have the same “note” attached. It usually only takes about 3 or 4, when I realize He’s trying to tell me something.
In the interest of brevity, I’m not writing yet exactly what the fear was, but I’ll just say that He gave me a nudge and asked if I was ready to face it. Maybe He actually took me by the hand and led me toward it….because THIS time, I walked wtih Him. I walked to the fear. I felt it’s hot, angry breath. It stunk. I could almost imagine the sting of it’s fangs sinking into my neck. But, I held tightly to God, and told him, “You know what? I trust YOU. I can’t beat this thing, but I’m sure you can.”
I walked into it, with the full awareness that whatever lay on the other side, God was able to handle.
I’m not Superman. I’m no superhero of faith. But, for some reason, God and I converged here at this point in my life, and I guess I said, “enough is enough, and God, YOU are enough.” So….anyway. This is just for the record. I’m done with this particular fear. God is greater. Who hoo. It feels so good. Later.
Recent Comments