This morning, I received one of those emails I signed up for….sometimes I read them, sometimes I don’t. This morning, I did. It asked me simply, “What are you leavning behind?”
But, then it gave some suggestions of things that will continue on after I’m gone.
One of these was my children.
It made me stop and think. Do I want my children to deal with the same struggles I’ve encountered in my life? I know that I cannot shelter them from the difficulties of life….and I wouldn’t want to do this. It has been through some of my life’s struggles that I have grown stronger – as a man, as a friend, and as a follower and friend of Christ.
But, there are some things that I want to be sure my children know.
I haven’t given it a whole lot of thought this morning since reading that email, but some that come to me now are these:
1. First of all, trust God. Read the Bible and believe what it tells you about God. God loves you…and he will never stop loving you.
Come to think of it, I do tell my children this. Actually, what I tell them is this, “I love you, and I will never stop loving you, no matter what.” I mean it, too. I realize there may come days when my children may make choices that I do not agree with or understand. But, I will always love them. I will always welcome them to where I am. I am their father, and each of them are my own children. I will never stop loving them…no matter what. I pray that they will see God in these statements and know that He is their God and that because of Christ, they are HIS children as well.
2. Feel what you feel, and don’t run from pain.
You cannot help your feelings. They are a normal part of the experience of being a human. Feelings come up. Don’t run from them. Don’t stuff them. Feel them. Experience them. Even anger…feel it.
But, learn to feel within the safety of boundaries. You cannot always act on your feelings, nor should you. Sometimes feelings are the result of misunderstandings. Sometimes feelings are the result of physical sickness or pain. But they are as vital a part of who we are as the heart beating in our chest.
For some people, when encountering trauma in life, they have stuffed the resulting feelings only to have them surface again – sometimes years later – in difficult and bewildering ways. The memories of the trauma may be long gone, but the feelings continue to surface until they are acknowledged and allowed to run their full course. The only way through the difficulties – emotions and all – is THROUGH them. Not around them. Through them.
3. Be Friendly. Be the type of friend you want to have….and don’t be afraid to actually say what’s in your heart.
I wish someone would have told me this years ago, and helped me understand this. I’m still working on it. One thing I think I’m doing a little better at, however, is speaking the truth that arises in my heart as I move through relationships and friendships. If someone makes me happy, I want to tell them. If something in a relationship with someone brings me joy, I want to tell them.
On the flip side, if there is something that bothers me in the relationship…I want to bring it up and address it. It may well be that I have misunderstood. It may well be that there is something that I still need to learn and be open to accepting in my life. But, I’ll never know if I keep it buried inside me. It’s part of the actual relating to each other for each of us to speak what is in our minds and our hearts. It is vital to actually growing in a relationship.
So…these are just a few things….but I realize that if I do what I can to teach these things to my children, that I can make an enduring differenct in their lives long after I’m gone. It will make a difference in my grandchildren’s lives.
Some things I got from my parents I want to discard, and some things I cling to. I want to give my children and all those after me as much as I possibly can that they can cling to, and which will make their lives better.
Just my thoughts for today. I want to live today so that even after I’m gone, what I did and said will continue to bring good.
Recent Comments